misosouper, a shopping blog

I’ve had this post waiting in the wings for some time (get it?  I’m so punny!), but since Mincing Mockingbird hit the front page of Etsy today, I figured I’d better publish it before he sold out.  You see, I have a thing for bird prints; at last count, I have 23, mostly arranged on one wall in my dining room.  I own three of Mincing’s pieces, and you know how at Disney’s Haunted Mansion the paintings’ eyes follow you around the room?  His work has a much more soulful kind of creep.

And because the hilarious titles of his paintings–such as the name of this post (and titular print in the book), and the pleasantly misanthropic “Any Poetic Impressions Of Life I Have Are Usually Ruined When Someone Starts Talking”–are on full display, this book would be a prime candidate for leaving propped on your bookcase.

Yesterday I finished reading the Fall ‘08 issue of “O at Home” (I’m a bit behind), and saw this useful creature shoved up in one of Oprah’s bookcases–for tomes that are prettier inside than out.

When I first met my husband, we were young and broke, two facts which (I now know) shouldn’t have prevented us from dressing well.  I wore incredibly tight capris; he wore shirts purchased from the thrift store–not the funny “Virginia Is For Lovers” kind, but the old-man, estate-sale-leftovers golf polo kind.  Into every wardrobe, a little strain must fall:  we were bursting the seams of respectability.

We grew up, grew old, grew a few more coins to jingle in our pockets.  I spent some of them on Lucky Mag’s first book, The Lucky Shopping Manual: Building and Improving Your Wardrobe Piece by Piece,  which changed my life.  After giving me permission to purge every ill-fitting, purchased-on-a-whim outfit I owned, I was down to two pieces of clothing:   a  vintage cashmere cardigan and a  ’50s cropped coat from my grandmother.   Imagine that.

Despite the strides we’ve made over the years, I’ve often wished my husband had the same sort of manual.  We all have room to stride, right?  Enter Esquire’s The Handbook of Style:  A Man’s Guide to Looking Good, whose introduction calls it a “roadmap for a territory that’s familiar and strange at the same time.”  Did you know, for instance, that in the summer it’s OK not to wear socks, but only if you give your shoes a break every other day?  Or that sideburns and a goatee elongate a round face?  Or that Bob Denver (not Jesus, which is a common misconception) is the originator of the modern mandal?

This book would be the ideal Valentine’s Day gift from me to him:  an extension of the “I want the world to see you the way I see you” brand of longtime love that allows us to accept what our mates wear, but still wish for them to present the best version of themselves.

I’m willing to be that there’s a man in your life in need of a few sartorial suggestions (honestly, the book should be required reading for any man old enough to plunk down a credit card for Crocs and/or frayed khaki shorts).  So if you leave a comment on this post describing your biggest fashion faux pas, you’ll be entered to win a copy of Esquire’s book.  Best answer takes the prize:  it’s not random this time, so funny and brief win the day.

the fine print:

Comments will be closed and entries will not be accepted after 11:59 pm EST on Sunday, February 15 , 2009.  The winner will be selected on Monday, February 16, 2009, and notified by e-mail.  Results of the giveaway will be announced on Monday, February 16, 2009.  Multiple entries will not be accepted, and previous giveaway winners are not eligible.  Misosouper, a shopping blog reserves the right to disqualify entries that are incomplete, inaccurate, or considered spam.

And he probably writes your name, address, and other vital statistics–if you know what I mean–in this little book.

I have a friend for whom dumpage just happened.  (Really, people, aren’t we getting a little too old for this?)  Everything was going along swimmingly for her and the beau, and then:  the next thing I know, we’re at ladies night, drowning ourselves in Cosmopolitans and pretending that it’s 2001.

Egads.  My advice, drunken though it might have been, was to fill out every single page of the activity book Dumped!, and mail it to him.  With his address scrawled in blood.  (Kidding about the last part.  But seriously, he is an asshole, and that would not be undeserved.)

With activities like word scrambles (how many phrases can you make out of “screw you?”) and connect-the-dots, it’s like really, really Mad Libs.

If you’d like the occasion to play vindictive and bitter all the way through to catharsis,  then you’re in luck:  this week, misosouper will give 3 lucky readers copies of Dumped! To enter, you need to post a breakup haiku in the comments,  writing either from the giving or receiving end of the split.  (ETA:  entries that are not haiku will be disqualified.)  Best three win the prize.

And if you’re interested in seeing who won the M641 giveaway, that information can be found in the original post’s comments.  (All future contest winners will be notified by e-mail, as usual, and announced in giveaway post’s comments as well.)

the fine print:

Comments will be closed and entries will not be accepted after 11:59 pm EST on Saturday, January 17, 2009.  The winner will be selected on Sunday, January 18, 2009, and notified by e-mail.  Results of the giveaway will be announced on Monday, January 19, 2009.  Multiple entries will not be accepted, and previous giveaway winners are not eligible.  Misosouper, a shopping blog reserves the right to disqualify entries that are incomplete, inaccurate, or considered spam.