High-end graphic design meets high-tech sound in these Limited Edition Earphones from Elecom. Granted, there’s no mic for your iPhone 4, but that ’80s playlist will sound way better through neon lightning bolts.

These animals will keep that library in line.

Mix your Mexican beverage metaphors and serve her up with a tray full of Negra Modelos.

My favorite martian.

Way creepier than playing poker with mirrored glasses.  A true objet d’art.

Why should Radiohead get all the rainbows?

A satisfyingly dramatic way to pass the days.

Now that the election is over, you need someone else to root for.

Lover, you should have come over.

My teenage cousin is obsessed with phone charms.  Here’s one (a miniature terrarium!) that doesn’t involve pink beads.

Perhaps my favorite item in the whole gift guide.  Perhaps the cheapest, too.

Do these derby critters remind anyone else of the Hummer soapbox derby kids?

Portable iPod karaoke sets bring joy to the world.

A daschund bag needs no commentary.

I warned you that I like small things writ large.

Yo to the yo.

This koi pitcher makes a lovely gurgling sound when it pours.

I’m thinking this tape isn’t fireproof.

Parrots are the new Rabbits.

Cleaning toilets probably isn’t what Pinocchio signed up for.

Unwrap it.  You know you want to.

What this sleek white instant camera lacks in vintage charm, it makes up for in features, like autofocus.  Plus, it hasn’t been discontinued, which is always a plus.  RIP, Polaroid.

And to think you were going to get them a Jawbone.

For my family and friends: you’re probably getting something from this list.  Sorry, and you’re welcome.

Bringing beer to the party?  You could just dump out the swill and fill the cans with flowers instead.  I’m sure someone will be taken by your gesture and share theirs.

As a social smoker (only when I drank, and only one!) who was shoved onto the brutal, bitter NYC sidewalks in the great Bloombergian smokeout of ‘03, I empathize.  Use these to keep your favorite smoker’s hands warm.

Oil is on one side, vinegar is on the other.  Separate spouts guarantee that ne’er the twain will meet, except on your salad.  Bonus points for looking gorgeous on the table.

A spilt bottle of water is the cause of many purse moatings.  Friends don’t let friends be that wet, soggy girl.

This skullcap with built-in headphones is just one step away from the ultimate in wireless, which is having the speakers implanted directly in your brain.  Maybe next Christmas.

As a design object, jiggers are usually ugly; this sleek aluminum cube proves they don’t have to be.

The possibilities are endless for this little bag made out of steel (literally!  the thread is coated with it):  toys, shoes, produce, small dogs…

Ladybuds, which are perfect for keeping your earplugs in while you rock your body at concerts, are not to be confused with ladybugs or ladylumps, neither of which would make good gifts.

This luggage tag makes me laugh.  Give one to your travel partner, and make them laugh too.

Best line ever:  “Your wife is so hot–is she a stay-at-home?”  Perfect for the party planning committee.

Yes, these gloves do have a bit of street urchin about them; but for professorial friends who toil in dank library basements, they may not stave off boredom, but they will prevent frostbite.

For those of us who don’t have a bike, a shoulder-strapped version of the iconic Carrie shopping basket.

They say lazy, I say efficient; hook this spoon’s notched edge onto a pot to preserve your counters from caked-on food.

Actually a great travel gift:  use this device to turn off annoying TVs around the globe, from bars in Kenosha to the airport in Bangor.

Sculptural and affordable, unlike so many other modern clocks on the market.  For a very tall wall.

Tomorrow:  gifts suited for a houseful of your favorite people.