A wall-mounted bottle opener, because  he deserves a dedicated beer station.

Perfect for the lazy artist, or the armchair coach:  just wet the Buddha Board’s brush in water, and scribble away.

The USB Hub Man’s four ports are definitely handy.

The mug fits in the tray, freeing your other hand for that beer whose top you just popped (see above).  Tomato soup and grilled cheese, or chili and a hot dog–your choice.

(That statement is probably the truest, most revealing thing I’ve ever posted on this site.)

Run, run, run to the cb2 sale; lots of goodies have been marked down, often deeply.  Such as the curve cooler glasses (only 95¢ each, marked down from $3.95!),  perfect for the casual cocktail, or the peekaboo umbrella holder (62% off), which would clearly be chic in any foyer.    I’ve got my own eye on the Gemini bed,  whose dual (duel?) headboards are perfect for the warring factions (names omitted to preserve domestic tranquility) that often bunk in our guest room.

These animals will keep that library in line.

Mix your Mexican beverage metaphors and serve her up with a tray full of Negra Modelos.

My favorite martian.

Way creepier than playing poker with mirrored glasses.  A true objet d’art.

Why should Radiohead get all the rainbows?

A satisfyingly dramatic way to pass the days.

Now that the election is over, you need someone else to root for.

Lover, you should have come over.

My teenage cousin is obsessed with phone charms.  Here’s one (a miniature terrarium!) that doesn’t involve pink beads.

Perhaps my favorite item in the whole gift guide.  Perhaps the cheapest, too.

Do these derby critters remind anyone else of the Hummer soapbox derby kids?

Portable iPod karaoke sets bring joy to the world.

A daschund bag needs no commentary.

I warned you that I like small things writ large.

Yo to the yo.

This koi pitcher makes a lovely gurgling sound when it pours.

I’m thinking this tape isn’t fireproof.

Parrots are the new Rabbits.

Cleaning toilets probably isn’t what Pinocchio signed up for.

Unwrap it.  You know you want to.

What this sleek white instant camera lacks in vintage charm, it makes up for in features, like autofocus.  Plus, it hasn’t been discontinued, which is always a plus.  RIP, Polaroid.

And to think you were going to get them a Jawbone.